My ship has come in...

No, literally, my ship has come in from all things warm & beautiful to non-tropical Michigan... but not to worry, as i type this there is *BREAKING NEWS* on our local morning show... SONIC is opening here in West Michigan. Hmmm... is that breaking "news"? Has anyone out there been to Sonic? or is it Sonic Burger?... anyway, fill me in!! But enough of that, let's get back to talking about ME! SO many topics: "what NOT to wear on a cruise", "what NOT to wear EVER", "what NOT to let your husband wear", the list is never ending! Back up, i'm getting ahead of myself here...

After surviving the flight to Florida (because in MY world 9 out of 10 flights end in a tragic death of all passengers!) we went to the "meet & greet & get free gifts & drinks & check out the other ladies outfits" kinda thing put on by the sponsor of this trip. Yes, this was a "reward" trip for my super deluxe hubby!Oh my gosh, don't you LOVE *free stuff*? i know i do... unless it's like a neon colored fanny pack, blue blocker sun glasses, or just general crap that is totally useless! This free stuff was GOOD free stuff! Great towels, toothbrushes, deodorant, snacks, sunscreen, and super expensive sunglasses i would never buy myself. I tend to lose sunglasses & let me digress from my trip talk for a moment to relay a sunglasses story. I worked for Kodak for a few years (hi ladies!) and when it came time for me to get a new company car i bought my old one & resold it for a profit, i'm crafty like that. The couple who bought it got there before i did & started cleaning out the car for me, when i got home the lady said to me "do you know we found 11 pairs of sunglasses in your car?", like that was weird or something?! duh! I was in the car ALL day & if i couldn't find my sunglasses i just bought a new pair at my next stop. See why i've never bought $100+ pairs of sunglasses? Well, now i gots me some & we'll see how long they last, although since i don't work outside the home, the chances have improved greatly! Ok, back to the cruise...

When we 1st got on board it was lunch time so we ran for this giant "alter of the morbidly obese" i've heard about, boy, was i disappointed! We got into line & immediately was cut in front of by a man that was so huge, that if i would have slipped i would have landed straight in his crack never to be seen again! Now don't get me wrong, i am NOT in anyway making fun of people that have weight problems- i have NO interest in what people weigh, but to maintain this guys weight, he has ONLY eaten deep fried everything, everyday, every hour for his entire life. Nothing green & leafy has ever touched his lips! Even though this guy was hungry (obviously), he did say to his wife "hey you just cut in front of them", man i wish i would have been able to snap a picture of the look on HER face! A cross between "oh no you dint say that to me" & "you get any closer to me & i'll eat you". i mentioned my disappointment at the lunch buffet.... "why?" you ask? Well, they were offering "hot dogs (GAG!), hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken strips & fries". I'm thinking "well, it's the 1st day, maybe it's just an All American BBQ lunch". When we got our food we headed out to find a table and that's when we saw it.... THE FOOD! We didn't realize we had stopped at the very 1st of i don't even know how many food "sites"! The longer we looked for a table the more food we saw: stir fry, deli, salads, pizza, Mexican.. enough food for 2 small countries! I was so annoyed i only ate 1/2 of my burger! I am happy to report that was my LAST cheeseburger of the week and that the "drink of the day" greatly cheered me up!Whewww... i'm not even past the first meal of the trip & already i'm tired of typing. So many more stories, mostly of weirdo's, but i'm going to share some pictures instead. Here is my favorite picture from my trip, but it brings up so many more thing to discuss, but i'll let you discuss it amongst yourselves.... go! I just realized it's hard to tell what you're looking at, so i'll give you some more insight before you discuss. This is a medium sized sealed "tote" that is along the balcony every so often under the life boats. The sign on it reads "Crowd Management Equipment"... IF you know what REALLY is in this tote, fill me in, until then i will continue to believe it's sticks with rusty nails sticking out of them!
Yes, that is a FULL moon rising, right there in the middle of the day... now this picture could set me off on another full tangent... BUTT CRACKS! men have been wearing this look for years, but what is up with "chick-butt-cracks"? Believe me, i got my fill of those at the airport... sorry, no pictures to share, but please... enjoy this one!

Oh hold the phone... who is worse, the dude with the side-ways smile or me, the one taking pictures of it & posting it on my blog?... something more to ponder!

Don't worry, i'm back & have a LOT more to share, so call your children in, phone your family & friends and gather around! i have GOT to get this house in order... it's driving me nuts!!

Hope you enjoyed my little taste of paradise

~m♥