Thursday, May 14, 2009

i'm full of myself

i had this conversation last night with my middle brother (the artist i'm going to make famous!), and his comment was "boy, you're full of yourself". Really? Did he JUST notice this?
i love this picture, see how cute & funny i am and how he's all weird looking like he just smoked something and has some type of irreversible dumb look?! haha, too bad he is not a regular reader of my blog & he could defend himself! Remember this face (his) 'cause i'm going to come back to him when his house sells and he buys that digital camera & he takes pictures of his awesome paintings...Anyway... i was wondering what to blog about today as i was making my single cup of coffee... the Senseo... i ♥ that machine! Anyway... i was thinking back to this story of the 1st time my family had ever seen a microwave oven (it was when we had a pimped out van, which i will discuss in a moment, an 8 track player with a total of 3 tapes 1 of which was "The Gambler" by Kenny, and earth shoes, oh gosh, remember those- the toe was tiled so you moved with the earth or some other type nonsense?!). Anyway... (seriously, could i find a better lead-in to my story?) my Dad had a convention for his job (which he rarely participated in to save the school system $, whole other story!) out in California (we were in Michigan) and for SOME insane "we're nuts" reason, they decided to take: 3 kids, 2 grandparents, a plastic banjo, and some rockin' 1979 outfits to Cali in a VAN!!!! Fly to Cali? Are you nuts?, planes go DOWN 9 out of 10 times in a fiery ball of passengers & smoke! These people cared about their family, they loaded us into a pimped out 70's van and DROVE TO CALIFORNIA!!! Yeah, i have issues, is it any wonder why?! The entire time out there we ate at Denny's, i was partial to the "chicken leg dinner", it had some "kid friendly" name that sucked me in like "chickie lickey" or "deep fried saturated fat dinner for kids", i forget the exact name. Once day my Grandpa Charley just couldn't take it (Denny's) anymore so we stopped at a place we'd never seen, a new and exciting place, a place full of promise and mystery... 7-11! IF ONLY my parents would have had the forward thinking of some & snapped pictures of this pivotal turning point in my life. I remember us moving like a herd to the back of the store, all bright eyed and bushy tailed under the glare of fluorescent lighting. Work with me people, there are NO pictures- Dad, Mom, me, my brother (shown above) John, my brother Andrew (owner of the plastic banjo), grandpa Charley, grandma Juanita wandering through the paradise that Californians already knew and loved. When we got to the back of the store there was this amazing "box" on a counter & to the right & left coolers full of burritos in brightly colored plastic bags! Had we died and gone to Heaven or WHAT?
Well, the 7 of us eagerly grabbed burritos and ran to this magic box that could heat food in a matter of SECONDS! It was amazing & beyond our simple Midwest thinking! So there we are heating & eating & so excited, (perhaps Andrew was blingin' out a tune on the plastic banjo?)... After the 7 of us have heated up our burritos and are standing at the back counter attacking them like a pack of hungry wolves, i suddenly notice the faces of the other customers... The ones trying to heat THEIR food! My dad is being all polite and trying to herd everyone out of the way and saying "excuse us, oh sorry..." as he spits tiny bits of re fried beans from his overly stuffed mouth. We've basically taken over the counter like we've moved in for the winter. Once everyone gets their fill, my mom & i head to the front to pay for our bounty. This is almost too much to bring up in my mind, the embarrassment makes me want to hide under my bed even now. Deep breath... proceed: my mom & i stand before the pimply faced 7-11 cashier, my mom looks at him, he looks at her and she says "i'd like to pay for our lunch". He looks around for something to ring up and says "well, ok, where's the food?". At this point something starts to stir in my 11 year old head, something isn't right! Apparently my mom also realizes our lack of class & "big city finesse" as she weakly mumbles "well, we ate it all in the back of the store"...
As if this isn't embarrassing enough, i must describe to you the van we were cool enough to own at this time. Now whenever i mock my parents for owning this beast my mother ALWAYS points out "well, you kids thought it was cool", like that somehow justifies this freak show! As i write this i'm having a flashback to a photograph someone was smart enough to snap as we started this whole journey... i'm going to call my mom & have her send me a copy!!! be right back...
crap, got her voicemail, don't worry, i left an URGENT message- i like to get her heart pumpin' (because Eminem wrote this line for MY mother: "my only reaction is Overreaction").
Ok, this FULL sized van was painted white with 3 different colored blue stripes down the side- well, ok you say, that doesn't sound bad, but wait, the best is yet to come... On the big sliding door are the words:
Blue jeans? why? i have no idea, why not "corduroy pants" or "plaid work shirt" or "velour sweat suit". My mom tells me blue jeans were very popular... aren't they still & how many vehicles are driving around proclaiming their love of denim? The interior of the van was also lovely with blue shag carpet, velvet seats, a couch that made into a bed, wood grain walls... the coolness just won't quit! By the way, the morning we went to Disney i was SO excited that i threw up my McDonald's orange juice onto the blue shag carpet & we all know what yellow & blue make=
well, my friends that's about all i can take on memory lane, so i'm going to head down and working on darling daughters scrapbooks, gosh i hope i can traumatize her like my parents did us!


LillySue said...

OH~MY~GOSH!! I have almost the same memories!
1. 70's ....yep
2. Custom van....check
3. Blue shag carpet....checkarooni
4. Road trip across country...uhhuh

We had a blue full sized Chevy van with a painting of a desert with a motercycle poping a wheelie on it. LOTs of blue shag carpet. It had a couch and a little counter top with a frig under it in the back. The couch folded out to a bed. Soooooo as you were driving around town on the couch with NO seat belts you frequently got thrown on the floor since my Mom's pot head boyfriend was a closet speedway driver. My Mom and her best friend took us on a trip to see the friends family in Ohio. The thing I remember best was peeing in a big MJB coffee can because stops were few. Ah...the highlights of childhood!

Diane said...

What a great story, I remember when my Mom got our 1st dishwasher it was portable but WOW what a cool thing, us girls LOVED it. Don't feel bad about the loss of your Grannies things I think that has happened to most of us ):
Hugs, Diane

The Pink Door said...

thanks for coming by my blog...I started then to read yours..ha ha I like your personality ;)
My memories would be the 80's and 90's..when MTV actually had music, and we use to rent a VCR from the video store to watch a movie, that was a big deal!

Your little girl is adorable! isn't fun having a girl, I can express all my inner frou frou girlie

The Pink Door

ktenbrock said...

Nice blog today Miss! You had me laughing my head off. Can totally picture the scene!

Kate said...

Good grief.... I thought I had it bad.
At least after the humiliation dies down, we're in a position to remember those things fondly.
Plastic banjo sounds great.....

zoe said...

You are such a humorous lady i should say;P So interesting of your memories story about your trip to Cali! While reading my mind starts the picture of your whole journey like reading a book! DAMN is so funny the part of 7-11!!! LOLOLOLO..

Perhaps you should write a book of your life:)


zoe said...

OOps to tell you a secret u been tagged by me !


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