Thursday, May 13, 2010

Well, good grief!

It's storming here (perhaps I shouldn't be on the computer?) and the stinkin' dog won't quit licking his weenie (& I do mean weenie- he's a stinkin 7 lb Yorkie).  I've changed his name from Theodore Winston to Master Bates.

 I believe that's from the movie The Toy with that black man that set himself on fire in the 70's...
Richard Pryor (yes, I had to google it). 

Because I googled it, I got popular quotes from the movie which i must now share:
Jack Brown: "Do you have a license to drive a car down the steps?" (I don't know why this one kills me, but it does!  Perhaps because I got a mental picture of Unusual and I driving down the steps at some monument in Washington  DC in my old Volvo wagon?!)
or the one most fitting for this situation I have here at home with the dog formerly known as Theodore
Eric Bates: "What do you do with... your thing?"
Jack Brown: "is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?"
moving on...
 He peed on the floor (no, not Richard) right as we were leaving for the bus, which was actually better than him pooping in the backseat of my car, which he did 2 weeks ago!  Of course, he was nice enough to at least poop on my floor mats, yes matS- he got 'em both!
Like I said, it's storming here which had darling in a TWIT!  I drove her to the bus stop and when the bus showed up she jumped out of the car like she'd been shot from a cannon!  She had one of those tree-hugger reusable bags from Target wrapped around her rubber boots.  I was yelling at her to give me back the bag (because I was in my gingerbread girl PJ's and hot pink fuzzy robe and was NOT getting out of the car in that outfit let alone the monsoon).  She kept yelling "I can't" and I'm yelling "give it back, yes, you can" (which is NOT to be confused with "yes WE can").  She has the most panicked look on her face that I've EVER seen... She was terrified the bus driver was going to leave her.  I don't know why the thought of missing the bus strikes the fear of God into her when she seemingly doesn't mind the look I gave her Tuesday when I had to drive like a bat outta hell back to the house to get her glasses or the look I gave today when she told me she didn't have her lunch and we had to get back to the house.  Now THAT look should scare her!!!
BTW: Yes, she did throw the bag back into the car and then took off like a crazy woman!
Someone from Kenya 
(map: because pictures make all posts better!)
just wrote me to tell me she needed me to marry her (I think that's not even legal) to get her out of some financial mess.  Don't worry, she only needs my bank information and will be returning my money and giving me 30% interest on it!  Just when I thought there were no nice people out there anymore.
This morning is off to an awesome start!
Ok, tomorrow we will be talking about some EXCITING news going on in my never ending quest to retain my youth (don't worry, no frilly mini skirts are involved, although a tube top MIGHT make an appearance!).
Happy Day!


Amber Zimmerman said...

Whew! Sounds like an eventful morning! So did dear daughter give you the bag? I'm on pins and needles here! I once had a beta fish named master. :)

Funny in My Mind said...

Master Bates? Oh, dying over here......

Melanie said...

That pic of Master Bates is priceless! Percy is half Yorkie, and I'm telling you that is a dumb-ass breed of dog and I'm starting a petition to stop the reproduction of them in any form.

The Toy is one of our favoritest movies from childhood. Why my mother allowed us to watch anything with Richard Pryor is beyond me, but I thank goodness that we had no idea what he was talking about. Did you know the kid in that grew up to be in pornos???

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