Friday, October 2, 2009

How Uncle Tweeter & an Easter egg tried to kill my family

Oh gals, i'm SICK, sicker than a dog.... or a hog! i went to the Dr. yesterday & got put in the "special" room. I was, of course, all excited that they got wind of me & realized i should be put in a "special" room until they had to burst my bubble & tell me it was for the flu & cold people, the nasty germ room.... i felt all like Rodney Dangerfield & his "i get no respect" shtick! Honestly though, i have the BEST Dr's ever, they are the nicest group of people i've ever met- the nurse practitioner i saw yesterday even hugged me as i left, now how is that for service?? i feel miserable today, my throat feels like i swallowed a package of those pink daisy razors. As i was laying (or is it lying) on the couch yesterday i was thinking about the time my brother, uncle tweeter, made my whole family sick with a pretty Easter egg... My parents had these friends that had 4 kids all with names that started with a K to go with their last name that also started with a K... anyway.... We loved these kids because they were older & got us wound up so tight when they came to visit it took my parents about 4 weeks to get us down of the ceiling! There was just 1 daughter in the bunch & she was such a glamour gal- oh MY, she was like the prototype for Barbie!!! The quintessential 70's teenage glamour girl, that's what she was i tell you! Long feathered hair, huge hoop earrings, crocheted sweater vests, tall boots with fur trim... We once wrote a letter to Ponch from that TV show CHIPS & covered it with lipstick kisses, yeah she was my glamour mentor! So anyway, back to that EGG & my near death experience!! They (the KK kids) colored Easter eggs for us one year & brought over Easter baskets. Well, Uncle Tweeter (my middle brother) was so in love with this egg they gave him he couldn't stand the thought of it being made into egg salad, so he HID it... hit it in his closet no less! A couple days go by & for some reason he fell out of love with the egg, or realized it really was of no value hidden in a closet or just wanted to try & kill his entire family- who knows!? Back to the fridge it goes where Chick (my mother) promptly makes egg salad with it. Now as i type this i can hear Chick saying "it was ham salad with egg, not egg salad" but hey lady, this is MY blog & i remember it as egg! So anyway, this tasty meal of egg salad is served up & who DOESN'T eat it? That's right, Uncle Tweeter!! My Dad eats 2 giants sandwiches & heads off to a school board meeting. As he sits there it seems the temperature in the room is rising & maybe the room is spinning...? He goes to the hall, cools down & heads back in where the same thing happens again. This goes on for several minutes until he admits defeat & heads to the car to drive home as fast as he possibly can. Let's just say.... he ALMOST made it, almost..... I remember my Dad moaning & groaning in his bed with the curtains drawn for what seemed like days. I guess i don't really remember how long this went on because i too was either in bed or in the bathroom with my head in the toilet. My brother was downstairs alone watching cartoons, eating the candy out of my Easter basket & scratching.... I'm sure he was scratching, isn't that what boys are always doing?
I'm headed to the couch.... & geesh when there's so much weird/sad/good stuff to talk about: David Letterman & his sluttin' around (Ewwwww!!!), art prize finalists, Roman Polanski, that poor Elizabeth Smart, Captain Sully returns to the sky, Michael Jackson's relative good health... and new art projects, and new blogs I've found!
I hope you have a great weekend, don't forget to WASH YOUR HANDS till they bleed- the key to good health!!

4 comments:

Angela said...

LOL!! This story is so hilarious!! Ummm but sorry you feel so terrible. I hope you get better very very soon.

Barb said...

Ah memory does fade as we become 40
the major victim of the whold affair has reiterated that it was "HAM SALAD" and you hugging the toilet hmmmm It seems to me that you were at a Mother-Daughter banquet with me. Also, you forgot the part of me going to Joyce Behlings at midnight to read in her PDR about the symptoms of food poisoning. Anyway, cute reading, you make me laugh elephant tears. Keep it up sissy.

C. said...

Imagine me doing our hot Bosnian Princess's accent- "You kill me, girl!"

Lori said...

I love how you make me laugh!! I am not a real comic girl and so enjoy when someone can me laugh out loud! Your calling hubby Stevie was hilarious too! Hugs from IN! Lori P.S Opened new site , got sick of the religious woman who taunted me for days, email me at pinkfadedroses@sbcglobal.net to get an invite to my private site!

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