Oh brother was yesterday's post a real SNOOZERor what?.... no seriously, i worried about it all day so now i leave you with an "extra added value" post! Not only will i leave you with 2 NOT 1, but 2 funny pictures i will also let you in on a very funny story. This is a story most would love to forget, but i, on the other hand, am all about drawing attention to myself, however much i shouldn't! Most people would like to hide the embarrassing & the ugly, but not me! See, i totally SHOULD be famous, i'd probably call the tabloids myself! Ok, now that i know you're crazy with anticipation, i will move on to the 2 funny pictures:
1. seriously, do i even need to make a comment? i think not & for once will hold my tongue & behave mature instead of opening my mouth & proving i have the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy...
do they think they're being discreet?
2. Funny AND Cute all in one!
Ok, the pictures... were they all i promised & more? Now for the story:
4 years before i adopted my daughter, i worked at a job i HATED: i sold carpet. Now why in the world would anyone sell carpet you ask... WELL, they sucked me in by posting this out front:
Designer Wanted!
Well, i thought, i do have a BA in Fine Art, & since i'm not busy making millions with my artwork, i'll apply. Lucky me, i got the job... Oh, did i HATE that job, i wasn't doing design, i was selling carpet for bathrooms (gross) & spare bedrooms. Now, i did do the occasional design job for new construction, but it wasn't on a regular basis, so most of my days were spent pretending to be excited about carpet fibers. Now, there was one thing positive that came from this crappy job & that is finding my better-friend-half! Christine & i knew we were meant to be friends within the first few minutes... ok, actually it took a bit longer, but that's because i was sitting next to the bitter fat chick & Chris's new desk was back by the bathroom. My manager was nice enough to tell the bitter chick she needed to train the other new girl & i would be moving next to Chris to train her! Score- i got a mental-soul-mate AND away from the bitter chick! Yeah, she was BITTER! .
After i had worked there a couple years a note came down from the main office- there was going to be a 401K, well i can't tell you how excited i was, i'd been meaning to get into shape for quite a while. You see, i was a runner in HS & also in college, i ran after college, and ran for several years on a very regular basis until i bought my 1st house... there was always something to do & i was so excited (it was a REALLY cute house) to decorate that i gave up running for painting & landscaping. But now... there is this company 401K race & i'm IN!! So i start thinking of how i should start training & how i should find out who all is going to participate. A couple days later a memo comes out to let us know that there will be a staff meeting to discuss this 401K- WOW, i'm excited, i didn't know this was such a big deal at the ol' carpet store! I said to Chris "so are you going to run in that 401K?". If i remember right, i just got a weird look & maybe a laugh that i took as "yeah...right". About that time my boss came out of his office & came over by our desks, because, let's face it- he had to think the job was boring too & we were the FUN girls at the shop! I start asking Mr. Mgr if a lot of people participated in the 401K "yeah, i guess", he says. Then i ask "have they done this before?", again "yeah". Well, then i start down the slippery slope, because by now YOU have probably seen the error of my ways... I start saying how i better start training & i'm pretty out of shape & i hope i can find some good shoes in a size 5 (NOT easy to do). Now, Mr. Mgr & Chris are starting to chuckle & i, seriously, have NO idea why. I keep up the questions & am going on & on about racing & college cross country & all the things that are making me look like a complete BOOB! Mr. Mgr & Chris think i'm just being funny so they're really yucking it up until... they realize... i have NO IDEA what i am saying & that i truly believe i am preparing for the road race of my life, not a savings plan...
yeah, a proud moment for me! Oh well, what do i care? i would much rather be funny than brilliant & apparently....
i'm in luck!!
AND if you found this funny, feel free to nominate me for the funniest blog:
http://www.socialluxelounge.com/blogluxe/
i realize yesterdays post may have soured you a bit, but you KNOW i love the attention, so somebody... nominate me & then vote daily for me!! If you need to please review my VERY EARLY post about my uterus or my recent post about the blue jeans van...
and ONLY because i said i would, here are my UNfunny before & after pictures of bush & bushless... also UNfunny because there is poison ivy on my 1 boob... nothing funny there!
Before with full bushes
after the Brazilian...
Now, the front porch is going to be remodeled & new posts with stone bases put in & then it is up to me to come up with a stunning landscape... why do i get myself into these messes? Ok, i'm off to itch my 1 boob & get my kid out of the tub!
2. Funny AND Cute all in one!
Ok, the pictures... were they all i promised & more? Now for the story:4 years before i adopted my daughter, i worked at a job i HATED: i sold carpet. Now why in the world would anyone sell carpet you ask... WELL, they sucked me in by posting this out front:
Designer Wanted!
Well, i thought, i do have a BA in Fine Art, & since i'm not busy making millions with my artwork, i'll apply. Lucky me, i got the job... Oh, did i HATE that job, i wasn't doing design, i was selling carpet for bathrooms (gross) & spare bedrooms. Now, i did do the occasional design job for new construction, but it wasn't on a regular basis, so most of my days were spent pretending to be excited about carpet fibers. Now, there was one thing positive that came from this crappy job & that is finding my better-friend-half! Christine & i knew we were meant to be friends within the first few minutes... ok, actually it took a bit longer, but that's because i was sitting next to the bitter fat chick & Chris's new desk was back by the bathroom. My manager was nice enough to tell the bitter chick she needed to train the other new girl & i would be moving next to Chris to train her! Score- i got a mental-soul-mate AND away from the bitter chick! Yeah, she was BITTER! .
After i had worked there a couple years a note came down from the main office- there was going to be a 401K, well i can't tell you how excited i was, i'd been meaning to get into shape for quite a while. You see, i was a runner in HS & also in college, i ran after college, and ran for several years on a very regular basis until i bought my 1st house... there was always something to do & i was so excited (it was a REALLY cute house) to decorate that i gave up running for painting & landscaping. But now... there is this company 401K race & i'm IN!! So i start thinking of how i should start training & how i should find out who all is going to participate. A couple days later a memo comes out to let us know that there will be a staff meeting to discuss this 401K- WOW, i'm excited, i didn't know this was such a big deal at the ol' carpet store! I said to Chris "so are you going to run in that 401K?". If i remember right, i just got a weird look & maybe a laugh that i took as "yeah...right". About that time my boss came out of his office & came over by our desks, because, let's face it- he had to think the job was boring too & we were the FUN girls at the shop! I start asking Mr. Mgr if a lot of people participated in the 401K "yeah, i guess", he says. Then i ask "have they done this before?", again "yeah". Well, then i start down the slippery slope, because by now YOU have probably seen the error of my ways... I start saying how i better start training & i'm pretty out of shape & i hope i can find some good shoes in a size 5 (NOT easy to do). Now, Mr. Mgr & Chris are starting to chuckle & i, seriously, have NO idea why. I keep up the questions & am going on & on about racing & college cross country & all the things that are making me look like a complete BOOB! Mr. Mgr & Chris think i'm just being funny so they're really yucking it up until... they realize... i have NO IDEA what i am saying & that i truly believe i am preparing for the road race of my life, not a savings plan...
yeah, a proud moment for me! Oh well, what do i care? i would much rather be funny than brilliant & apparently....
i'm in luck!!
AND if you found this funny, feel free to nominate me for the funniest blog:
http://www.socialluxelounge.com/blogluxe/
i realize yesterdays post may have soured you a bit, but you KNOW i love the attention, so somebody... nominate me & then vote daily for me!! If you need to please review my VERY EARLY post about my uterus or my recent post about the blue jeans van...
and ONLY because i said i would, here are my UNfunny before & after pictures of bush & bushless... also UNfunny because there is poison ivy on my 1 boob... nothing funny there!
Before with full bushes
after the Brazilian...
Now, the front porch is going to be remodeled & new posts with stone bases put in & then it is up to me to come up with a stunning landscape... why do i get myself into these messes? Ok, i'm off to itch my 1 boob & get my kid out of the tub!~m
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